Finding A Job

Everyone loves money. I love money. You love money.

Everyone wants money. I want money. You want money.

Where does everyone get money? Where do I get money? Where do you get money?

Answer: A JOB!!!!!!!!!!

No. No one is excited. No one likes their job unless you are a saint or work for Vogue or something. Especially first jobs as a teenager. Trying to balance a job and school is difficult, let alone trying to find a job.

I'm turning 17 next month (August 16th, mark that on your calendar!!) and I still didn't have a job until today. I put in 11 applications to clothing stores and coffee shops, desparate to find somewhere that would pay me for labor. Still, no calls. What was I doing wrong?

I think part of the issue was my hours: I can work at 3:30 after school and no one wanted me then. 3:30 is in the middle of shifts and they need someone who can work a full shift. I would have to work at McDonald's or somewhere to find hours that work with mine (boo).

Everytime I went into the store to get an application (well, those that actually had paper apps, because most places are online now) I was freaking out. Putting myself out there and talking to a total stranger and worrying if I look and act alright is so stressful. Taking the apps back in is a whole other story. That's when you have to worry if the manager is there and wants to talk.

So how did I get through all of this? Deep breaths and reminding myself that the worst that could happen is that they don't have a position for me. I won't be publically shamed or made fun of for taking in a job app. Sometimes you just have to get off your tush and get it done or it will never happen. You can't get a job if you don't try.

Have any of you put yourself out there for something and got a good result? What about a bad result? Let me know!

Thanks for listening,
Danielle

P.S. I got a job today (eeeee!). The great thing that it is at the place I volunteer at a lot, so I know the ropes. I didn't even have to submit an app or do an interview! I'm going to run the social media and website, posting interviews, photos I take of people there, and I'm going to get paid for writing. I'm so excited!!!

Procrastination is the Pits

Procrastination + Anxiety = DEATH

No, but really, it's the worst.

Every anxious person suffers from the deadly cycle of procrastination and anxiety and the only way to stop it is to not procrastinate. But it's not that easy.

Allow me to explain:

Anxiety causes you to procrastinate things that you are dreading doing. Makes sense. But when you procrastinate, you get anxious because you're constantly thinking I should be doing that, but you JUST. CAN'T. It drives you freaking nuts and you're just a big mess of procrastination and anxiety.

So now you understand. I suppose many of you anxious people out there suffer from this everyday, whether it's getting your license or preparing for a presentation in class. I've been having a hard time with it all lately, because I don't want to grow up and the thought of it all is driving me nuts.

My suggestion from getting out of the whirlpool? Keep a planner. Stay organized and on time. If you conquer one thing at a time, it's so much easier than trying to tackle several. Don't let yourself get behind and put off an important project or thing you need to accomplish until the last minute. 

Like I've said before, this summer I've been taking the things giving me stress and anxiety one at a time. I got my license, and now I got a job (today!!). I feel like two very large weights have been lifted off my shoulder.

Now for school in two weeks. Crap.

What do you do to stay on track? Let me know, maybe we can all learn something from eachother!

Thanks for listening,
Danielle

Keeping Busy

I find myself being the most happy when I'm doing something. A lot of people are probably that way. When I'm doing an activity I love, volunteering, or even cleaning my room, my mind is in the present and I'm focused on my current situation.

Keeping your mind focused on something is a great way to forget about things that are stressing you out or making you anxious. Some things that I like to do when I find myself worrying are:

1. Writing. There's no better way to occupy your mind than writing. Write a short story, a poem, or a song when you are feeling stressed. My personal preference is to write about something that makes me happy (AKA my current novel). Others might find it helpful to write about what is making them anxious or stressed, maybe in a personal journal.

2. Photography. I love finding things to take photos of, whether it is a landscape, a flower, or a friend. When you focus your attention on the subject, you are thinking about the best way to frame the photo or the best angle to take it from. You don't have to be a professional to take photos.

3. Exercise. Exercise is a great way to relieve stress and anxiety and it makes you more fit in the process. Being physically healthy also helps mental health. Dancing, my personal favorite form of exercise, is a way to create and exercise at the same time. 

4. Shopping. Texting up my friends and going shopping with them takes my mind off everything. Focusing on what to buy or having a nice conversation with a buddy makes you think of other things. Plus, buying something for yourself always feels good. 

There are so many ways to remove your mind from your stress. Listening to music or watching a movie are also good ways to feel better.

Lately, I've found that I'm not as happy as I am during school. My daily routine has kind of lost its structure, as I am going to bed at 12 am and waking up at 11. Half of my day is already gone by the time I get up and get going. Most days, I just hang out at home, playing on my phone or the laptop. It's not a good routine at all. A few days is alright--the entire summer is not. I've also put on some weight from my boredom eating. I get really bored really easy and I find myself eating to pass time. I know I'll get rid of some of the weight once school starts, but I just don't feel good about myself and my body. Body positivity definitely boosts confidence and lowers anxiety. 

What are some ways that you get your mind off the things that are stressing you out? What are some everyday things that stress you out? Let me know in the comments. 

Thanks for listening, 

Danielle

License!!

Two days ago, I got my license!

It was, without a doubt, the most stressful, nervewracking, and anxiety-inducing experience of my entire summer (kind of).

We went to the DMV and waited two hours only to find out that we had to go back three hours later to take the actual road test (seriously??). So I had sat there for two whole hours, the butterflies in my stomach ready to explode, for nothing. At that point, I really just wanted to get it over with.

I know that everyone is nervous for the test. But for a person with anxiety, it's absolutely horrible. I had spent the night before convincing myself that I was ready and I just needed to do it, like pulling off a band-aid. I had read a bunch of articles about how to be prepared so I didn't mess up.

The next morning, I told my dad that I was ready and we practiced parallel parking for a little bit before leaving. That really helped me get some more confidence that I could actually do this and not fail. He told me after I took the test that he knew that I was ready for the actual driving part 100%, but he was a little worried about my parallel parking (thanks dad!). 

So when we went back, we waited a little longer and then a nice lady called up three people taking the test, including myself. That was another thing that helped me control my anxiety. Having other people in the same boat makes you feel like you aren't the only one in the world facing this. (Plus, both were really cute boys, so that helped even more.) The lady told us that we would all parallel park, one after another, and then go out with her for the driving portion. All three of us cheered eachother on. Once I got out there and I was waiting in the car, the butterflies were pretty much gone. I was feeling really confident at that point and the looming knowledge that I would have to take the test had also disappeared. It had been there while I was waiting and it was killing me.

I got a perfect on the parallel parking (told you I was ready, dad)! It was a great feeling. I got the worst part over with and all I had left to do was a five minute drive around the block. That part was a peace of cake. I made no mistakes and that really boosted my confidence as a driver in general.

Over all, the worst part of the whole ordeal was waiting. Just sitting there in that chair, waiting for them to call your name, is horrible. But once I got out there and was actually doing it, I was knew I was prepared and ready to do it. My advice for people scared about something they need to do is know that once it's over, you feel great. You just need to power through and know you won't die and it will be over soon. I've been driving everywhere lately and it is so fun to do it without an adult. It's a new freedom.

Thanks for listening,
Danielle

Job Hunting

Job hunting is exhausting. I'm exhausted and I've only been doing it for one day.

Earlier in the year, I applied for a job at JCPenney Portraits, in which I never got a call back. It took a lot of courage to take the application in. I was given a small little interview right there on the spot (luckily I was prepared). I was really nervous before I took it in, but I've found out that once I'm actually there speaking with someone, I'm fine.

I'm not heart-broken about the job. In fact, I'm glad that I went in and did it, and I got a taste of what the job-hunting world feels like. I'm just looking to make some money for spending and a car and I know that my first job won't be the most glamorous thing ever.

Today I went with my mom (she stayed behind when I spoke to people) to several different stores to ask for applications. (I swear everything is online now! Everyone I talked to told me to do it on their website. . .) I'm very proud of myself for getting through the anxiety it caused and I used the breathing exercise religiously.

I'm not going to let my anxiety get in the way of things I need to do. I'm almost 17 and I still don't have a license, job, or car. People my age around me are already getting involved in these things and, to be completely honest, I don't want to have my mom drive me around everywhere anymore. I want to have my own agenda and the means to get somewhere when she can't take me.

My mom is my hero. She has the best advice ever. One day, I was freaking out about growing up. There is so much I feel like I should be doing, including getting a license, job, car, and looking for colleges. But she helped me sort it out and told me to take it one step at a time.

1. Get my license (I'm doing that soon!!)
2. Get an SAT prep book. (Some of my friends are doing prep camps for that this summer while I sit       around and do nothing!)
3.Get a job.
4. Get a car.
5. Look for colleges halfway through junior year, which is this coming year.

It's really helped me feel better about everything. My advice for people who are stressing out and getting anxious about things they feel like they need to do is to take them one step at a time. Start with the most attainable, and slowly move forward. It's helped me so much and I hope this can help you.

Thanks for listening,
Danielle

P.S. The song "Human" by Jon Bellion is really speaking to me lately. He sounds SO much like Nate Ruess from fun. Just listen to it.

That One Time at the Airport

Ah, the airport.

The haze of over-priced tourist shops and angry travelers never seems to get old. Every time I go to the airport, I experience several emotions throughout the whole ordeal: excitement, boredom, and, of course, anxiety. Although the airport is pretty self-explanatory and there are people who are actually there to help you, the whole process is highly anxiety-inducing.

The worst part? Security. To some security is just another annoying checkpoint that they have to inconveniently remove their shoes and put all of their possessions in a box. Possibly getting pulled aside for wearing a necklace. To me, it's literally the absolute worst place for an anxious person to go. There are many reasons to be nervous at the security checkpoint:

1. Holding up the line when you can't seem to get that one converse off.
2. Messing up and forgetting to put something in the box.
3. The alarm going off after you walk through the metal detector. 

I understand that probably a lot of people share these same worries, but every time I am pushed through the line to walk through the nefarious metal detector, my heart rate increases 10000x and I almost cry. Every. Single. Time. 

That being said, I had one experience with security that will forever stand out as one of the worst. Kahului Airport, Maui. June 10, 2015. The whole trip, on both security checkpoints, we had the quick check passes where we didn't have to take our shoes off to go through the detectors. I don't know how we got them, but we had them. Anyways, on our way home from Maui, we were just about to go through security when a worker stopped us after checking our tickets. Apparently, only my dad, brother, and sister had the quick checks. Mind you, it was almost 11 pm and I was really sad that we were leaving Maui. My emotions were elevated. I freaked out. I would have to go through the regular security and take my shoes off. The world was ending.

My dad said that they could come with us, but my mom told them to just go through the quick check. So there they were, not having to take their shoes off, while my mom and I were. There were so many people around us and I was holding my tears with all my might. My lip was quivering, my heart was racing, my breathing was shallow.

This might seem like a petty situation, especially for people who don't have to deal with anxiety. For the people who do, you probably understand why this was so stressful for me. I was all fine and dandy until the plan was changed.

I dealt with this sudden acute panic attack by doing breathing exercises I was taught. As I was sitting on a bench retying my dirty converse, I breathed deep and slowed my heart rate. (The breathing exercise is breathe in through your nose for 4 counts, hold it for 7, and breathe out of your mouth for 8. It works wonders!!!)

If you're every caught in a situation where you can't leave and calm down, do the breathing. Tell yourself that there is nothing to be stressed about, that you'll make it through, and trust me, you will. Tell me about a time that you dealt with your anxiety in the comments. I'd love to hear about it.

Thanks for listening,
Danielle

My Anxieties: An Overview

anx·i·e·ty

/aNGˈzīədē/

noun

a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.

Anxiety is normally associated with either attention-wanters or asylum patients. The fact is, most people with anxiety are normal, everyday people. Like me. I have the kind of anxiety which causes me to refrain from things that put me out of my comfort zone. Some people even have panic attacks which cause their heart-rate to increase and they might feel like they are dying. My anxiety is not like that, and is caused by things that I encounter every day.

I'm not an adventurer. I have to have a set routine to my day or someone to go with me if I go somewhere new. I don't go into the store by myself. I don't call people or answer the phone, unless I know the person I'm talking to. I can't speak up for myself. I'm only comfortable with the people I know and I have a small friend group because of that. I hate when I have to choose my own group in a class where I don't many, if any, friends. Thinking about starting school in less than a month with brand new classes is freaking me out a lot. Getting myself to go in and take the driver's license road test has proven difficult to fulfill. Thinking about going out and finding a job is not appealing at all.

Some people might share these with me. It doesn't necessarily mean you have anxiety. I spend hours and hours thinking and worrying about these things, and some are even out of my control. I spend my life in the future, overthinking things that are yet to happen. Getting a job, going to college.

If you have the "I think I'm dying" kind of anxiety, I highly urge you to think about seeing a therapist. Therapists offer so much advice for tackling your anxiety and controlling your panic attacks. I, fortunately, don't have to deal with panic attacks, but I will on occasion find myself fighting to urge to cry or actually crying when I'm stressed and anxious (in public, too, it's the worst).

Anxiety has ceased me from doing so many things I wish I could. I've missed out on school events (two years of football games and dances), cool places, and chances to make new friends and I regret it. I regret it.

I hope we can fight these problems together. Having someone to encourage you and help you along makes everything so much easier.

Thanks for listening,
Danielle